Calgary 2007 Poem

Peter Gzowski
Golf Tournament 2007

I got a call the other day
To find my irons, join the fray
So like a flash, I gathered brands
Rafters, bars and oyster cans

I drove the truck to Willow range
But that’s when everything got strange
For they weren’t sett’n up a branding
There weren’t horses saddled stand’n

Then I noticed with a shock
The pasture wasn’t meant for stock
Though the grass was green and lushy
There lay no cow pies brown and mushy

And where the grass was grazed real short
A single gopher made his fort
That rodent seemed inclined to brag
‘cause on a pole he’d hung a flag

I met this feller called ‘The Pro’
Who said he thought that I should go
And meet the Duffers at the tee
No thanks, I said, my drink’s coffee

Then Pamela took me by the hand
And said a tournament is planned
To golf and fund raise here you see
All in the name of Pete Gzowski

I climbed into her little cart
And figured I would do my part
A day away from barns and stalls
To cheer these folks with clubs and balls

Golfers down in Texas scramble
The odd one might be prone to gamble
But this one’s cowboy from the ground up
So it’s called Alberta Round Up

The Grounds Crew sure got on their horse
Removing leaves right off the course
While kitchen staff prepared the grub
Three cheers to Willow Park Golf Club

There was talk that seemed absurd
That golfers hope to get a bird
And then I heard a frantic fogey
Grumbl’n ‘bout some doube bogie

Now I ain’t one fer acting smug
And look a gift horse in the mug
So since I was an honoured guest
I chucked his ball up with the rest

Then people started yell’n ‘FOUR’
I grabbed his ball but found no more
So nimble like a yearling foal
I stuffed it in that gopher hole

The message from the club house steeple
Education powers people
The PGI supports this cause
Full of sponsors without flaws

Well now I’ve learned this golf’n gather
Gives a chance to those who’d rather
Fill their noggins full of knowledge
Maybe even go to college

I thought of days the Gzowski show
Ranked ‘bout the best on radio
When on the ranch the CBC
Would fill my head with literacy

Well I’m right tickled at this chance
Help’n language to advance
‘Cause back in school I was no Darwin
Literacte now, I s’pose I are one

To say this day has been a slice
Would understate the worthwhile price
Of haz’n those less fortunate
To open doors so they might get

The opportunity to share
In benefits that wait out there
So pat your back, you’re so considerate
And know that now, there’s less illiterate

Bj Smith/07