Golfing for Gzowski

(sung to the tune of “Waltzing Matilda,” the unofficial Australian national anthem)

Once a jolly long driver sat astride his Yamaha,
Under the shade of an old oak tree,
And he sang as he sat and waited for a ball to hit,
“Andrew’s come a-golfing for literacy!”

CHORUS
Golfing for Gzowski, golfing for Gzowski,
You’ll come a-golfing for Gzowski with me,
And he sang as he sat and waited for a ball to hit,
“Andrew Brown’s a-golfing for literacy.”

Down came a young buck betting he could beat the bloke,
He thought he had the balls to drive it further than he,
So he swaggered and he grinned as he polished up his driving head,
“You’ll never hit it as far as me!”

CHORUS
Golfing for Gzowski, golfing for Gzowski,
You’ll come a-golfing for Gzowski with me,
And he sang as he sat and waited for a ball to hit,
“You’ll come a-golfing for literacy.”

Up jumped the golf pro to face up to that young buck,
“I’ll take your twenty and give ten to literacy.”
And he sang as he shoved that twenty in his ball cup…
SPOKEN: Ball cup? What’s a ball cup? That wasn’t a ball cup… it was a Moosehead ice bucket. I thought you said PEI doesn’t have any moose. Not moose, mooseHEAD. It’s a type of Canadian beer. Oh beer! Why didn’t you say that? BEER! Another thing we Australians have in common…

CHORUS
Golfing for Gzowski, golfing for Gzowski,
You’ll come a-golfing for Gzowski with me,
And he sang as he shoved that twenty in his golf cup,
“You’ll come a-golfing for Gzowski with me.”

Down went the golf tee amidst a pile of shattered ones,
Whoosh went the practice swing, one, two, three…
SPOKEN: Not like that – like this! Straighten your arm, get your body behind it, that’s it! Drive her!
…He winds up and he wallops it so hard it disintegrates,
Young buck bows and says, “Let’s do the best of three!”

CHORUS
Golfing for Gzowski, golfing for Gzowski,
You’ll come a-golfing for Gzowski with me,
And he winds up and he wallops it so hard it disintegrates,
He sings: “You’ll come a-golfing for Gzowski with me!”

Along came the next teams in their convoy of white Yamahas,
Fed-Ex, Eastern Schools, and Kwik-Kopy,
They had seen that golf pro terrorize the titleist ahead of them,
And said, “You had me right there at 350!”

CHORUS
Golfing for Gzowski, golfing for Gzowski,
You’ll come a-golfing for Gzowski with me,
They had seen that golf pro terrorize the titleist ahead of them,
And sang, “We’ve come a-golfing for literacy!”

Up jumped the golf pro, driver shining readily,
“No one can hit it as far as me!”
And his voice may be heard as you pass beside the 12th-hole tee:
“You’ll come a-golfing for literacy.”

Golfing for Gzowski, golfing for Gzowski,
You’ll come a-golfing for Gzowski with me,
And his voice may be heard as you pass beside the 12th-hole tee:
“We all come a-golfing for literacy.”

by
Laurie Brinklow & Lynda Hawryluk
2012 PGI Poets Laureate
Belvedere Golf Course
Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
June 15, 2012